Caught Between Filial Piety and Reciprocity: Young Chinese Adults Grapple with Obligation to Care for Aging Parents
Yu-Chi Hsu, CAS '25
Bachelor of Arts: Sociology
Abstract
Current studies have investigated the influence of the quality of parent-child relationships, family composition, and gender on providing old-age support. However, the field lacks qualitative data to understand how adult children conceptualize their future caretaking responsibilities. This research investigates if the definition of filial piety has changed in the contemporary Chinese context and, if so, whether patrilineality continues to dominate family life. Drawing on 41 in-depth interviews, it examines how educated Chinese young adults view their obligations to care for familial elderly. These interviews reveal the emergence of a “reciprocal norm” in parent-child relationships. Although the notion of filial piety remains strong among young Chinese, they are more likely to define it as an exchange between parents and children rather than an unconditional commitment on the part of children to care for their parents. Yet differences among only-child men, only-child women, men with sibling(s), and women with sibling(s) suggest that gender and family composition shape variation in the degree to which traditional definitions of filial piety persist.
Introduction
One common function of family life is to provide support for its members. These practices are structured by governments, gender norms, and economic systems. China’s mass-scale population control policies and its rich, long-lasting culture make it a case worth studying. While many civilian states provide social welfare to take care of the elderly, China’s one-party-state lacks sufficient financial resources to fund comprehensive elder services and healthcare (Wu et al. 2023:3). Instead, “China introduced home care as the elder care cornerstone and encouraged the revival of the filial piety tradition” (Krings et al. 2022:1). Yet it remains unclear whether Chinese youth support the state’s policy, and if they do, how they define and anticipate responding to it.
The question thus remains: What factors contribute to the willingness of young Chinese adults to care for their aging parents in the future. Answers to this question will shed light on whether families can continue to function as a core institution for stabilizing Chinese society and provide a preliminary insight about the sustainability of China’s current eldercare policies that continue to stress family responsibility. It will also investigate the implications of the current policy for the reconstruction of filial piety and patriarchy.
Literature Review and Theoretical Debates
An Aging Tsunami in China
According to 2021 national demographic statistics, about 13.5% of the Chinese population is over 65 years old (Eggers and Xu 2023:42). By 2050, there will be 400 million Chinese citizens aged 65 or older (Tu, Zeng, and Liu 2021:1161). Moreover, China’s population is aging at a more rapid rate compared to countries like the UK, France, and Germany (Wu et al. 2023:2). The steady increase in the aging population poses a challenge to the healthcare system (Eggers and Xu 2023:42). Poorly developed public care infrastructure can hardly take care of aging Chinese citizens (Eggers and Xu 2023:42). In addition, the country’s long-term care policy merely covers the elderly with severe medical conditions or have urban employee basic medical insurance, which further escalates the problems of poverty and inequality (Eggers and Xu 2023:42). Disparities between urban and rural areas are evident (Wu et al. 2023:2). In cities, there are better medical services, lower fertility rates, and many migrant workers from rural areas (Wu et al. 2023:2).
Meanwhile, informal care, that is the care performed by nonprofessionals and usually family members, is still the primary care model performed by the public and preferred by the elderly (Zang 2022:8). However, with the steady increase in the proportion of older people in the population, this model seems unsustainable as an effective way to address the eldercare issue (Zang 2022:9).
The inadequacies of this policy are further complicated by China’s population control policies as well as the Elder Rights and Protection Law enacted in 1996, the Confucian tradition, and the patrilineal family system (Hesketh, Zhou, and Wang 2015; Krings et al., 2022:4; He, 2021; Xie, Zhang, and Li 2017).
State’s Influence: Policies and Laws
The one-child policy is indispensable to the analysis of China’s demographic circumstances. China’s one-party political system allows for the implementation of the one-child policy between 1980 and 2016 (Hesketh, Zhou, and Wang 2015:2619). It was one of the most ambitious national population control plans (Deutsch 2006:366). For urban residents, the only-child policy is strictly enforced (Hesketh, Zhou, and Wang 2015:2619). In rural areas, most couples are allowed to have two children, though, in some provinces, it is only the case when the first child is a girl (Hesketh, Zhou, and Wang 2015:2619). The typical family structure in cities has been modified into a 4-2-1 inverted pyramid, meaning there is only one child to support two parents and four grandparents in a family (Zhan 2004:176). Therefore, various types of household composition are expected to appear in the study, and one’s household composition could be related to the family’s socioeconomic background.
The actual enforcement of the one-child policy has involved a reward and penalty system, including fines or loss of employment for those who work in government agencies (Hesketh, Zhou, and Wang 2015:2619). Unfortunately, the one-child policy and sex-selective abortions lead to a high sex ratio at birth, reflecting patriarchy and social inequality in China (Hesketh, Zhou, and Wang 2014:2619). At its peak in 2005, the ratio was 121 male births to 100 female births (Hesketh, Zhou, and Wang 2014:2619). Parents’ awareness of the need to plan birth then had long-term consequences in household composition.
While some have viewed the one-child policy as a cause of a self-centered generation who have enjoyed unprecedented purchasing power and a child-centered upbring marked by parental attention and investment, the increase in only children does not necessarily undermine the norm of filial piety (Deutsch 2006:369). As girls without siblings no longer need to compete for resources (Fong 2002:1103), there is no significant difference between only girls and only boys in terms of educational access, aspirations, and achievement (Hesketh, Zhou, and Wang 2015:2619). Among only daughters, an affection-based reciprocal mode of thinking, in which they show a high level of appreciation towards parents’ investment in them, is pronounced (Eklund 2018:53). In contrast, only sons are more likely to take parents’ investment for granted, indicating that parental investment does not generate the same sense of gratefulness among boys (Eklund 2018:53). Only children anticipate the same level of caring responsibility as children with siblings, and only children are likely to feel more responsible for their parents’ emotional well-being and plan to live in close proximity to their parents (Deutsch 2006:382). While some evidence suggests that the more siblings one has, the less care one provides (Grigoryeva 2017:120), this is an overly simplistic conclusion without taking other factors such as gender and family context into account.
China enacted a two-child policy in 2015 and a three-child policy in 2021 (Su-Russell and Sanner 2020:302). In addition to modifying the family planning policies, the government also employed new propaganda on traditional culture and issued a revision of the Law on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of the Elderly to legally oblige adult children to visit their parents (He 2021:43). In the 12th Five-Year Plan, China’s central government proclaims to have “elderly home care as foundation; community elderly care as support; and state institutional care as supplement” (Krings et al. 2022:4). Both the 12th and 13th Five-Year Plans encourage family members to live close to their parents and intergenerational cohabitation (Krings et al. 2022:7). Although these legislations are unenforced, they could affect how people feel about filial piety. Indeed, those women who deliberately chose to have a second child after the relaxation of the policy describe the benefits of siblinghood and shared responsibility for elderly caregiving as their primary motives (Su-Russell and Sanner 2020:312).
Traditional Cultures vs. Neoliberalism
This study examines the implication of both filial piety and patriarchy for understanding children’s views about elder care. Chinese scholars have long studied the significance of filial piety in the original Confucian sense, which is the obligation to “defer to parental wishes, tend to parental needs, and provide attentive support in old age” (Whyte and Ikels 2004:106). This traditional definition incorporates a commitment to care for one’s aged parents, but patriarchy is another enduring aspect of Chinese family life that shapes family norms. The patrilineal feature of Chinese families includes the belief that sons are the primary and best source of support in old age (Hu 2017:739), which justifies greater investments in sons’ future (Hu 2017:739). Because the traditional assumption has been that when a daughter marries, she will move into her husband’s homes and care for her husband’s parents, they have received lower investment for their future (Xie et al. 2017:168). These traditional gender norms have relegated much of the essential care of the elderly to daughters-in-law (Xie et al. 2017:170). The secondary treatment of adult daughters thus shapes their sense of intergenerational obligations, especially when brother is present (Eklund 2018:45).
Nevertheless, culture is not set in stone. Some researchers argue that the economic reforms initiated in 1978 not only transformed China from a closed state into a market-oriented economy but also incorporated neoliberalism into its culture (He 2021:38). These shifts, they argue, have left adult children more concerned with financial than emotional exchanges and produced a decline in willingness to care for aged parents (He 2021:39). In Hong Kong, where the rise of neoliberalism in the context of colonial history has had a greater influence on familial values, parents no longer expect tangible material or physical support from their adult children, with decreased co-residential physical care by family members and increased reliance on the private sector, such as nursing homes and domestic helpers (Leung, Lam, and Liang 2020:440-445).
In mainland China, recent quantitative data on monetary transfer and emotional support has found that daughters, unlike sons, are increasingly involved in elder care (Hu 2017:741). Yet this change is not bi-directional. Daughters’ caregiving has become more important, but while they are providing more, they are receiving less (Hu 2017:740).
In addition to findings pointing to daughters’ greater contribution, the relationship quality between caregivers and recipients is positively associated with caregivers’ willingness and parents’ life satisfaction (Li et al. 2023:5; Chen, Shen, and Ruan 2021:563). The remaining puzzle, then, is how parents and children form their relationships and how adult children evaluate their quality. Researchers have yet to discover adult children’s views on the value of material reciprocity and psychological interdependence. Research also needs to address how women view their unequal treatment and obligations. Compared to previous studies that view filial piety as a holistic term, this study thus investigates the various forms of support contained within the concept of filial piety, including adult children’s views of the ideal residential distance from parents, the ideal care arrangement, and the kind of support they are willing to provide.
Research Design and Methodology
To address these questions, I conducted 41 in-depth interviews. Some participants were recruited on REDnote, and some were recruited through the researcher’s social network. I also employed snowball sampling. The survey was first distributed to collect basic background information prior to the interview. Participants are in their 20s or early 30s. Participants have to either be current undergraduates, have a bachelor’s degree, or are pursuing a postgraduate degree. The solid educational background allows the researcher to label the sample as elites in Chinese society. Existing research shows that Chinese individuals with higher levels of education hold a more robust notion of filial piety (Eklund 2018:41).
Participants are categorized into four distinct groups: only-child men, only-child women, men with siblings, and women with siblings. For respondents with siblings, age differences between siblings and the gender of the sibling were asked. Three types of information were collected. The first type is family background and the strength of family bonds. Family background includes economic status, rural or urban hukou, family composition, parent-child relationships, etc. I also asked about parenting styles and parental investment in children. The second type is the personal life trajectory, primarily on educational achievement, employment status, and current distance from parents. The third type is young people’s attitudes toward taking care of their parents in the future. This includes the adult child’s ideal distance from parents, ranging from the same neighborhood to different countries. Interviewees were also asked about their ideal care arrangements, such as nursing homes, domestic workers, and hands-on. Information about the kind of support they are willing to provide is categorized into tangible material support, accompanying, and emotional support.
Findings
Filial Chinese People
In general, Chinese youth continue to support the norm of filial piety. They consider providing care for aging parents to be an unquestionable part of the private sphere. Most are opposed to nursing homes. Jiayu is a man who currently lives in New York City and is expected to continue staying in New York City for the master program. While his parents locate in mainland China, he believes his current distance from parents is perfect, not too far. However, when asked about his ideal care arrangement, he was not confident about nursing homes.
"I’m not sold on the nursing home thing, and I don’t think my parents want to go to a nursing home. What they’re expressing right now is that they want to stay in their own house and do their own stuff. So, I think if it does come to a point where they reach a certain age, then I will probably still be involved in the caretaking work with a domestic worker."
Children would speculate about what type of care arrangement their parents preferred. Adult children and their parents are aware of news that reported staff in nursing homes neglect or abuse elderly people. Zhuhui, a 21-year-old woman, expressed her uneasy feeling about nursing homes.
"I’ve seen the news before. It’s someone in Guangdong, who went into a shelter and was then abused to death. The collectivization of the nursing home cannot take care of individuality. It’s kind of like a kindergarten where it is unable to take care of every child. Especially elderly people are not as cute as toddlers, so there will be some neglect. And on account of my dad’s temperament, it’s not a good fit either."
Concerns about potential abuse and the low-quality care provided by nursing homes makes them hesitate to let their aging parents reside in nursing homes. Some also have doubts with both nursing homes and domestic workers, saying “outsiders” could never reach the same level of diligence and carefulness as one’s family member. According to Yunjin, “after all, strangers certainly don’t have the same emotional connection as biological children.” Although Yunjin’s parents have chatted about living in a nursing home, she does not think nursing homes as desirable. Sometimes people are uncertain about why they do not trust nursing homes but describe a complicated sense of feeling guilty for letting parents live in nursing homes. For Wenran, parents who live in nursing homes have a culturally embedded meaning, which indicates adult children are unfilial.
"But I want to take care of them myself. I really don’t want to rely on outside help like nursing homes or domestic workers. I don’t know why... it makes me feel ungrateful... I still prefer the traditional way, except when both of my parents have some problems at the same time which leave me with no choice but to rely on other strategies."
The Chinese social environment conveys messages about the least preferable option, and young people are affected. None of the respondent appeals for more government involvement, either because they perceive that more social welfare will not alleviate their burden or they think that given the huge population size, the government is incapable of taking care of millions of aged people. Yunjin’s parents have the state’s health insurances. Without much financial stress, she mentioned the government’s role as secondary and supplementary.
"I think government can only provide some economic relief. For example, if there can be some policy, or some special funds for some disease treatments, it’s going to alleviate some economic burden for disadvantaged families... However, I feel that the so-called companionship of children, or the ability to spend time with parents to chat or so on, cannot be replaced by external financial support."
Others think the government has provided enough, especially for urban residents, given the population size of China. As Jingshu explained, “the national situation is here. You can't ask the state to cover all the care of the elderly, because the overhead is too big. At least in the developed areas such as Shanghai, I think it's enough.”
Interestingly, young Chinese adults deem economic support for parents as the baseline; something should be provided as long as parents brought them up. Few refer to the legal requirement for rationalization. Minting is a 22 man, talking about what he considers to be the baseline.
"I think the bottom line is that if the elderly person wants to sue the children, then the children have to pay alimony. Because often the rotten ones go together. If a parent didn’t raise their children well or didn’t behave like a proper parent, to put it bluntly, the child will not want to go back and support that parent in the future. The child may struggle with his own life and become an irresponsible person. That’s why they go to court, and then it ends up being a legal judgment, and it is all about money."
Although most of the respondents think what their parents need is accompanying and emotional support, they claim that they will give economic support even when their parents do not need it. In short, young people often feel that material provision is an obligation, but emotional support can only emerge from intimacy with parents.
Changes of the New Generation
The old saying, “among a hundred good virtues, filial piety is the first,” is not valid anymore. While some people have a positive impression on this traditional concept and some do not, for those who think being filial is good, they discuss it as one form of kindness. As Siqi described, “instead of saying filial piety is the first thing, it just a kind of goodness.” Filial piety becomes one moral criterion, but young people state that there should not be a hierarchy ranking different kinds of morality. The significance of one ethical value does not surpass the other. In addition, young people do not like the traditional concept of filial piety because it asks for almost unconditional obedience to parents’ commands. Zhiyao differentiates being filial from blind obedience.
"Filial piety is a complicated word for me. First of all, I think it is kind of a positive term. I think it’s synonymous with being thankful... but if you use it in a way asking me to be completely obedient to you, I feel that’s not filial piety. That’s just being silly. I don’t think it should be considered as filial. That’s just stupid."
Yichuan expressed similar attitude on the term of “filial piety.” Because “filial piety” in Chinese contains two characters. The first is “filial”; the second is “obedient.” Yichuan agrees with the first part but disagrees with the second. “I feel like if one goes along with unquestioning filial piety and ignores the meaning of filial piety, that’s paranoiac.” Nowadays, they claim their aspiration to take filial responsibility is driven by reciprocity. Yurou reiterated her belief, “I think I'm still of the principle that if you’ve been nice to me, I’m going to be nice to you... because I think it’s important to give and get return equally.”
Adopting a framework that focuses on reciprocity allows us to understand the dynamics that emerge between parents and children as they negotiate intergenerational exchanges. Reciprocity contains three elements: downward transfer, upward transfer, and the constraints surrounding each. Downward transfer refers to what parents give to children, usually in the forms of educational investment, physical nurturing, financial support, and emotional support. Upward transfer refers to the support adult children provide to parents, including financial support, physical care work, physical proximity, and tending to parents’ emotional needs. Constraints are restrictions imposed by parents, including what they request from their children in return. Downward transfers thus often involve constraints that can lead to conflicts between a child’s personal ideals and her or his family needs. They would affect how children assess their parents’ love for them and how they feel about providing upward transfers.
An extreme case could occur when parents provide minimal downward transfer along with a noteworthy level of constraints, as in the case of domestic violence. In such a circumstance, a child is likely to prefer distance far from parents. If parents face a financial crisis and become impoverished, they may provide little but minimal economic support. Shuyi has faced emotional and physical abuse as a child. Now she lives in a different province from her divorced parents. When asked about her ideal distance from parents and what kind of upward transfer she may give, she answered, “different countries are good. The farther away the better. I’ll go to Mars if I can... Giving money is out of my obligation, after all, they raised me... can’t see them starve to death, right?” Nonetheless, adverse childhood experience does not necessarily lead to minimal upward transfer. Shanyou is 33, living in Australia and doing a doctoral degree. She was a victim of domestic violence, and her mom passed away a few years ago. After she completed her master program, she took care of her mom for one year.
"I wouldn’t say I don’t want to take care of her. I wouldn’t have that strong feeling of not wanting to take care of her, even if she did that to me. But it’s true that it’s undeniable that she had sacrificed herself for me... Now that I’ve grown up, I can understand that some of what she did reflected her personal limitations... But certainly, she caused me harm... In comparison, I don’t want to take care of my dad at all. Now, my attitude towards my dad is that I won’t go back even if he dies in China."
When downward transfers occur but also involve notable constraints and emotional suffering, children may feel conflicted but nevertheless provide upward transfers. If children receive what they perceive as only harms with little to no downward transfers, they are more likely to resist the norms of filial piety and express indifference instead.
Gender Differences and Different Families
Gender differences also pervade the norm of reciprocity. Eighty percent of women mentioned some forms of reciprocal exchange. In contrast, men were more likely to describe their future caregiving responsibility as an undisputed obligation rather than an expression of reciprocity. When queried about reciprocity, half of the men were either uncertain or rejected its importance. Since sons are more likely to enjoy generous downward transfers as well as look to their future spouses to provide care for in-laws, they expressed less concern about facing pressures to give more to their parents than they had received. Since patriarchy was normalized in their parents’ generation, the norm that required women to do most of the care work while men were the breadwinners implicitly influenced the respondents. The women associated marriage with stress of caring for children and parents. Wenran described a traditional phenomenon in Shandong Province.
"Me taking care of my parents, and his taking care of his parents? But after marriage it is impossible to be so clear. I must take care of his parents; he may not be able to take care of mine. After marriage I must take care of his parents. This is a traditional phenomenon in Shandong. Like when my mom wanted to take care of her parents, my dad would stop her."
In contrast, men, typically received more and faced fewer constraints, especially in middle- and higher-middle-class families. As an only child, Guyu, lives in Shanghai with his parents and plans to stay in Shanghai. He thinks one benefit of being the only child is receiving one hundred percent parents’ attention. Downward transfer manifests in terms of educational investment. Guyu had no major conflicts with his parents and felt comfortable letting his mother arrange his educational path. “Basically, my mom did it all, she picked out the more appropriate schools and appropriate majors. Then she let me look at it, and I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, so that was it.” For other men, decisions about schooling and career could lead to conflicts. Yet despite the constraints that often surrounded career planning, most of these conflicts eventually ended with compromises. Jiayu talked about the struggle with his father on the topic of choosing schools.
"Because I’ve recently been applying to graduate schools. I wanted to go to art school, my mom agreed, but my dad was adamantly against me going to art school... but it turned out that I ended up applying to none of the art schools. We probably argued about this for almost a year… Because my dad earns a relatively high income, he pays my tuition, and if he wasn’t willing to pay for me, I wouldn’t be able to go to school, so eventually I compromised."
Compared to men, women often faced more constraints that involved more issues. They arose when parents expected an adult daughter to have a stable job, to get married and have children, and to remain in their hometown because it is “safer.” These could conflict with a daughter’s career ambitions. As a master student, Xiaxuan had parents who conveyed a strong message that she should get a decent job, an expectation that did not align with hers.
"So I think they expect a lot from me. My dad is from Shandong, and Shandong people seem to spend their whole lives in pursuit of decency and social status, so they want me to have a decent job with a reasonable salary that isn’t too tiring… In their opinion, the best fit is, of course, a job at a university."
Yiyi faced similar constraints when she wanted to apply for PhD programs abroad. She realized her parents had presumed a route for her life. In order to prevent Yiyi from deviating from their expectation, they persuaded her. Although Yiyi’s dad did not argue with Yiyi directly, while driving, he spoke to Yiyi’s mom several times, questioning why his daughter would want to go abroad and wondering how she could even have that thought.
"I’m now in the People’s University, and they think this university is good because it means you will be more advantageous than others for the examination entering the public sector... I just found out this year that they have quite traditional expectations on me. Like other Chinese parents, to become civil servant, to marry and have kids, to step on a stable route... I told my parents I wanted to study for a doctorate, and they thought it was okay for a girl to do so. Studying is good anyway. When I said that I wanted to study for a doctorate abroad, they felt that it seemed to deviate from their initial preconceived notions… From the very beginning, my dad said our family has no money, and then I told him that the doctorate in the United States has a full prize... Then they asked who was going to provide for their old age, accusing me of abandoning them… Then, they talked about my cousins. saying my contact with these cousins will be broken."
Some women displayed persistent resistance to parents’ wishes. Others compromised and partially relinquished their independence. Shihan, who is 31 and married in 2020. resigned from a demanding job due to her deteriorating health and returned to Fujian from Beijing, where she now lives in a house owned by her parents.
"My mom said after graduating from university, I could just find a job that pays 3000 RMB (about 400 US dollars) a month… So they don’t really hope for me to achieve great things, or to earn money to support the family. That somehow explains why I’m still relying on my parents. That’s one aspect, but because I’m a woman, they still hope that I have a proper married life and have children. My parents have a strong obsession with having children. One time, my dad saw me and said he couldn’t sleep recently because I don’t have a kid."
Regardless of these women’s choices, they reflect parents’ high pressures and demands on daughters. Additionally, women expressed different attitudes than men regarding emotional downward transfers. While women emphasize the emotional support given by their parents, men place less value to this, more often, stating that they do not rely on parents for emotional support. According to Mingting, “I think I can digest the vast majority of emotions by myself, so of course it’s great to have support, and I don’t care if there’s none.” Indeed, some men felt their parents paid too much attention to them. Some women, on the other hand, were clearly disappointed by this lack of support. For Xiaxuan, she is always in an unbalanced relationship with parents.
"They are that kind of traditional parents where parents are always on top. Parents are always right... They rarely listen to me. They always have to stand in the role of criticizing you, educating you, guiding you, rather than the role of growing up with you.
Yanyu, who has a brother who is 3 years younger, was shocked and distressed after witnessing a warmer mode of interaction between another mother and daughter."
"Because when I was growing up, my friends and I had siblings, and we were left-behind children... lacked parental companionship, and fighting with my brothers is relatively normal... But after meeting that roommate, I really envied her because her mom gave her all the love she needed, including chatting about very small things."
Women also expressed more awareness and sympathy for mothers’ sacrifices in domestic area, which could lead to different aspirations for themselves. Runan explained that her mom’s bad temperament originated from the stress and unequal treatment she received in the household.
"Starting from middle school, I came to understand my mom as a woman. My mom was disempowered in the house, and then I started to, for example, she went to do laundry and then cook dinner, when my dad was lying in bed. My sister and I would stand with her against my dad. She probably gained support and learned that housework wasn’t necessarily her own business, and she became gentler and healthier... so my relationship with my mom now is probably that she is like a child to me."
When two parents offered different levels of emotional support, it influenced their views on which parent should receive their support in return. For example, Wenran felt more responsible to care for her mom than her father.
"Me being filial to my father are mostly derived from childhood experiences. In contrast, my mother and I have a very strong bond. Maybe it’s because we are both women, and secondly, she cares about me and takes care of me in daily life. My father, apart from playing with me, didn’t take care of me at all."
The men and women who were only children had mixed opinions about having a sibling, and their minds were also likely to change as they grew to adulthood. Many did not want a sibling when they were younger, but softened this view as time passed and they realized that their parents were too old to procreate and being the only child in the family had become a settled fact. At 29, Zixin recalled not wanting a sibling when she was young and did not wish her parents’ love to be distributed to someone else. But she changed her mind in college when she realized that having siblings to share the caregiving responsibility would be beneficial.
"But I now get the feeling that I have to take care of my mom and dad all by myself, and I don't have any other siblings to share that responsibility. But I think it’s okay because I grew up with all the love from my mom and dad, so I suppose to do everything I can to provide for them as they aged."
Zixin’s comment also demonstrates the role that reciprocity plays in people’s views on parental care, especially in the case of only children who consider it fair to take care of parents because they have received sufficient downward transfers. Yet only children were also likely to think that having a sibling who provided minimal help would not alleviate their caretaking burden. Shitong thinks having a sibling brings more conflicts.
"If there was another child, I think there would inevitably be a lot of questions about how to share the caretaking responsibility. For example, it may be about who got more love when they were kids and whether they should give more, etc., but because I’m the only child, all the love is on me, so that means all the responsibility is on me as well."
When asked why they reached this conclusion, only-children referred to the fact that their parents’ generation are taking care of their grandparents. As Minting explained, “I think if I had siblings, we would argue with each other… because most of my grandparents’ generation have brothers and sisters, and I see them arguing.” Likewise, Yunjin gave an example of her dad and her dad’s siblings taking care of her grandmom. “I think there is always someone who bears the most... And they had arguments on that topic.”
For men with siblings, their outlooks depend on birth order as well as their sibling’s gender. If they had younger brothers, the issue of filial piety did not cause a mental struggle since the norm of patrilineal presumes the oldest male child will inherit a family’s wealth and provide care for parents. Those men with sisters presumed that the patrilineal norm meant that they would give more because they received more. Nuoting has an older sister who lives in another province, yet he believes parents invested more in him because he went to college while his sister graduated from a post-secondary institution. “I think in the future, I’m going to be the one taking 60 or 70 percent of the load, because she’s marrying somewhere far away.” Nuoting decided to live in the same province with his parents.
Women with sisters believe the caretaking responsibility should be divided based on the relative amount of downward transfer they received from their parents. Women with brothers, in contrast, insisted that their brothers should participate in taking care of their aging parents. Jiahui stated that “I think in the future… me and my brother have to divide the responsibility. It’s not possible for me to take care of both of them (her parents).” Xinran has an older brother who she described as incompetent and irresponsible, like her father. Therefore, she prefers to take care of her mother and leave her father with her brother. Yanyu presents a more complex case. She wanted to go to other provinces after graduating from college and explore the world but got convinced by parents to stay in Gansu. Yanyu thinks it is reasonable to share the responsibility by having one child live closer and providing company and having the other child provide more economic support. She is inclined to leave and ask her brother to stay with their parents, implying that the greater transfers given to a son justified her choice.
"I think equal sharing is good, but what should I say? Because in our rural area, if the family owns a house, it will be inherited by the male child. I don’t know if that’s the same in other places, but it’s common sense here. If that’s the case, I think my younger brother should bear more responsibility, right?"
By recognizing the role that reciprocity plays in influencing people’s views of their responsibilities for aging parents, it is possible to clarify how gender shapes the way Chinese young adults are conceiving of filial piety. The interaction of gender and household composition shapes adult children’s plans and aspirations.
Conclusions
Young adults in China continue to recognize their obligation to care for elderly parents. With little questioning of social welfare’s low level of support, informal familial care is both preferable and largely taken for granted. Despite doubts about the legitimacy of traditional notions of filial piety, they are willing to provide the upward transfer of support as long as it takes place in a context of reciprocity. By viewing filial piety in reciprocal terms, young people are highly motivated to take care of their parents through economic means. Traditional views on gender, however, create complex consequences. For only children, women tend to face greater pressures and constraints given the same level of parental downward transfers. For those with siblings, the distribution of parental downward transfers between siblings and the gender of each sibling are both influential.
Given the paucity of research on the motives for familial care among adult children in China (He 2021:52), and even less research focusing on how young adults envision their caretaking responsibility in specific ways, this research fills a gap by examining how mental constructions of filial piety and patriarchy shape young Chinese views and aspirations regarding eldercare. Additionally, sociological research on the intergenerational relationships between Chinese children and their parents is dominated by quantitative methods (He 2021:54). Since expectations do not necessarily translate into actual performance, this research cannot predict the future actions of young people in China. Yet, it can provide a window for understanding the issues at play by vividly portraying young people’s experiences in contemporary China as well as their hopes for the future. It also points to the need for more research on how to address the core issues that are sure to arise amid the aging tsunami of the Chinese population.
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Appendix A – Interview Guide
Introduction:
Thank you for participating in this research. Please allow me to simply introduce myself and the research. If you have any questions, interrupt me at any time. I’m currently a senior student studying sociology, and this research is my honor thesis. The research is about how Chinese people think, feel, act, and expect regarding to family senior care. The goal is to understand the role of family involvement in the care of aging family members and people’s attitude of filial piety in contemporary society.
Our conversation will be audio-recorded, but the information you provided will be kept confidential. No facial or video information will be collected. Your information will only be used for academic purposes. Before the interview officially starts, I will need your permission for the audio recording. Please indicate orally that you consent to being recorded. Thank you. I will now start recording.
Additionally, I would like to ask if you would like to be directly quoted in my essay when necessary. If you would not like to do that, please tell me. Not giving consent to this will not affect participation or compensation. The interview will still continue. Thank you.
As a reminder, if you want to skip any question which you feel uncomfortable to answer, we will skip. It is completely understandable that you don’t want to share certain situations or information related to yourself. If you want the interview to stop at any time, please inform me, and the interview will stop.
The interview is expected to be shorter than one and a half hours. It will be divided into four parts. Now, we will start with the first part. In this part, I will ask you about some general information and your family background.
Part 1:
That’s start with a simple question, could you tell me what year you were born?
To confirm, as indicated in the survey, you are currently a student/employee living in (city name), right?
Could you briefly describe the current focus of your life?
In the survey, you chose (“option”) as your family socioeconomic status, could you simply explain why you made that choice? Is there any specific experience make you deem that way?
Where do your parents currently live?
You said you have # nuclear family members and # stem family members, could you explain who do you include and what are their relationships with you?
How’s your relationship with your grandparents?
How often do you contact them?
Who are the main caregivers during your childhood and your adolescence?
In your family, who is the breadwinner?
In your family, who has the power to decide? On mundane things or big things?
Could you recall the most impressive or meaningful incident that happened between you and your father?
Is the incident you described representing your relationship with your father?
How would you describe your relationship with your father?
Could you talk about the most recent contact with your father?
What image do you have of your father?
Has this image ever changed? Is there anything that has happened which changes your view on your father?
Is there any turning point in your relationship with your father?
Could you recall the most impressive or meaningful incident that happened between you and your mother?
Is the incident you described representing your relationship with your mother?
How would you describe your relationship with your mother?
Could you talk about the most recent contact with your mother?
What image do you have of your mother?
Has this image ever changed? Is there anything that has happened which changes your view on your mother?
Is there any turning point in your relationship with your mother?
(If has siblings) How’s your relationship with your sibling?
Has it always been like this?
How often do you see or contact each other?
Did you have a separate space while you growing up? Like having your own room? Or did you need to live with siblings?
What are some of the financial investments your parents have made in you? Like school fees, hobby training, hiring tutor, etc.
Would you want your parents to have more or less time with you individually?
Would you want your parents to have more or less emotional support/care on you?
How do your parents divide their energy and invest educational resources between several children?
Do you think parents should treat their children equally or differentiate parenting based on each child’s personality?
(If being the only child) How does it feel to be an only child?
What kind of financial investment did your parents make in you? For example, school fees, hobby training, tutorial classes, etc.
Would you like your parents to spend more or less time with you for emotional support/companionship?
Have your parents ever mentioned the idea of having a second child? What was your reaction?
What is the biggest conflict that has occurred between you and your family?
How did you resolve this conflict? If it wasn't resolved, how was it put to rest?
Have you ever had a rebellious period? What were the signs of a rebellious period?
Developmental psychologists usually categorize parenting styles into four types: authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent, and neglectful/non-involved. If you had to categorize your father and mother, which category would you place them in respectively?
Do you feel that as children, the relationship with your parents is equal?
Do you think parents should have an equal relationship with their children?
Everyone has different tendencies when it comes to fertility, such as letting nature take its course, or relying on fate. Others will plan and prepare for pregnancy. Do you know if you are a planned birth or not?
Has China's population policy, especially the one-child policy, affected your family in certain ways? Fines? Are your parents government workers?
Are there more one-child families or more multi-child families around you?
Part 2:
For as long as you can remember, what were your expectations for your future life? For example, when you were a child, did you think about where you wanted to live or what you wanted to do in the future?
How old were you? Do you think this idea was influenced by external factors?
You currently live in (city name), have you ever lived anywhere else?
Where you currently live is also your hometown, have you ever considered moving to another place?
Have there been any practical attempts? What has stopped you?
Why did you choose to stay in (name of place)?
Did your parents' opinions influence you to stay?
Would your parents' place of residence be a consideration for you?
Where you currently live do not seem to be your birthplace, was there any reason for you to leave your hometown?
Was it an active choice or a passive one?
If it was an active choice, are you currently happy with your choice?
Did your parents say anything about your decision?
Would your parents' place of residence be a consideration for you?
Some people will choose to go to college farther away and start a new life, while others find it happier to go to college in a familiar place. Which one do you favor?
Can you describe the process of choosing a college major?
Why did you choose this major? Who was involved in the decision?
What’s your opinion about the major? What was your college experience like?
Would you choose the same major if you had to do it again?
Have you considered continuing your education? A master's degree or a doctorate? Same major or a different direction?
What do you feel is the ideal physical distance between you and your parents (living in the same country/city/neighborhood)? Why?
What are your current career plans? Is there anywhere you would like to settle down?
Part 3:
Are your grandparents still alive? What are their ages?
(If alive) What are their needs for caregiving? Do they need long-term elder care (need assistance with daily living/have regular medical needs)?
If long-term care is needed, who currently cares for them? What type of care?
How did the family decide who would be the primary caregiver?
If not, do you think family members provide them with adequate emotional support?
How was the relationship and bonding with your grandparents maintained?
(If passed away) What were their circumstances prior to their death? Did they experience a longer period of being cared for or treated?
How long did it last?
Who was the primary caregiver?
How was the decision made as to who was the primary caregiver?
Did your parents provide financial support for their parents?
Do you feel obligated to care for your parents as they age and if need long-term care?
In what way? Hands-on/shared living? Hire a nanny or housekeeper/shared residence? Hire a nanny or housekeeper/no shared living? Primarily through a nursing home with adequate financial support?
Could this family caregiving responsibility be a source of stress?
Where do you think this stress comes from? From parents? From the social environment and our culture?
Have your parents talked about how they envision their senior years? Like how do they want to be taken care of?
What is their attitude when they talk about it? Serious? Lighthearted?
There are more and more people who disagree with invasive treatments (e.g. intubation). Quality of life and length of life can sometimes be a conflicting topic. How do you decide when your parents can't decide for themselves?
Would your choices change in a situation where your parents have an opposite attitude beforehand?
(If has siblings) Do you think you and your siblings would share the responsibility of caring for your parent?
Would it be shared equally?
(If being the only child) Do you think having a sibling would change your situation in caring for your parents?
With your current observations, what do you think is the most important thing about providing care? What do seniors need most?
Financial support? Physical/spiritual companionship? Efforts to provide the best medical resources? Hospice care?
How do you feel about public/private nursing homes? Would it be an option for you to have your parents live in a nursing home?
What do you think is the role of street offices, community and governmental agencies in the care of the elderly?
Do you think these public social institutions should take more or less responsibility for elderly care? Why?
What is your opinion of the current public health insurance? Are the services provided by the current social health insurance sufficient, especially for the elderly?
Would changes in public health care resources affect your view of family responsibilities?
Where do you think the responsibility for caring for parents stems from? Is it based on affection and reciprocity or on kinship and social responsibility?
Is it an obligation (i.e. every child has a duty to care for his or her parents)?
Which part of it do you think is an obligation? Which part is motivated by spontaneous love?
Do you want to get married and have your own nuclear family?
Would you like your future partner to care for your parents with you?
Do you think people nowadays would expect their partners to share the responsibility of caring for their parents?
What are your views on having children?
Do you think there are differences in the perception of family responsibilities between women and men? In what ways?
What are your views on the male and female caregiving narratives – “men in charge of everything outside, women in charge of everything inside”?
Part 4:
There is a lot of discussion about family’s influence on one’s personality and perception on the Internet nowadays. How do you think the family affects a person's view of the responsibility of taking care of his/her parents?
We traditionally say that filial piety is the first of all good deeds, do you think this saying is applicable in today's social context?
Does this saying apply to you?
Do you think filial piety is a virtue or an obligation?
How do you define filial piety in your eyes?
In your case, have you ever had a conflict between family responsibilities and personal ideals?
Can a person still be filial when his/her career or other pursuits make him/her sacrifice time and energy he could devote to care for his parents?
Do you think young people nowadays believe in individualism more than collectivism compared to their previous generations?
If yes, what are the reasons for this change?
If no, how have traditional values such as collectivism survived in today's more globalized and modernized world?
Can you rank “self”, “intimate partner”, “parents” and “children” from most to least important?
Has this order ever changed?
Our society has often portrayed parents’ love for children as unconditional, but do you think children love their parents unconditionally?
Conclusion:
Thank you very much for sharing your information. Is there any information you would like to add? I will now stop the recording.
Any suggestions on how to make the overall experience of participating more enjoyable and relaxing? I really appreciate your willingness to take the time to speak with me.
Appendix B – Survey Questions
1. When were you born?
a. After 2004. b. Between 1999 and 2004. c. Between 1995 and 1999. d. Before 1995.
2. Please indicate your gender.
a. female. b. male. c. non-binary. d. prefer not to say.
3. Are you a native speaker in Mandarin Chinese?
a. Yes. b. No.
4. Are you a Han Chinese?
a. Yes. b. No. c. I don’t know.
5. What’s your sexual orientation?
a. heterosexual. b. homosexual. c. bisexual d. asexual e. others. f. prefer not to say.
6. Which city do you currently live in?
a. Guangzhou. b. Shenzhen. c. Shanghai. d. Chongqing. e. Chengdu. f. Beijing. g. Tianjin. h. others.
7. Where is your hometown/birthplace? (please provide city/province name)
8. Is your hukou rural or urban?
a. rural. b. urban. c. prefer not to say.
9. Based on your understanding, how would you describe your family’s economic status?
a. upper class. b. upper-middle class. c. middle class. d. lower-middle class. e. lower class. f. I don’t know.
10. What’s your education level? (i.e. if you are a current college student, please choose “Some college”; If you have completed your university studies, please select “Bachelor’s degree”; if you are currently enrolled in a master/doctoral program, please select “Master’s degree”/”Doctoral degree”)
a. Less than high school. b. High school diploma. c. Some college/current undergraduate student. d. Bachelor's degree. e. Master's degree. f. Doctoral degree.
11. What’s your employment status?
a. Employed full-time. b. Employed part-time c. Unemployed. d. Self-employed. e. Student without internship. f. Student with paid internship. g. Student with unpaid internship. h. Other (please be specific). i. prefer not to say.
12. What’s your marital status?
a. Single. b. Married. c. Divorced. d. Widowed. e. in a stable relationship (not married). f. in casual relationships (not married). g. Other (please be specific). h. prefer not to say.
13. How many members are in your nuclear family (typically include parents and children)?
a. one. b. two. c. three. d. four. e. five or more than five.
14. How many members are in your stem-family (typically include members from nuclear family plus grandparents)?
a. 1-5. b. 6-9. c. more than 9.
15. Which age group does your dad belong to?
a. born before 1960. b. 1960-1964. c. 1965-1969. d. 1970-1974. e. 1975-1979. f. 1980-1985. g. born after 1985. h. I don’t know.
16. Is your dad a singleton?
a. Yes. b. No.
16-1. If No, how many sibling(s) does he have?
a. one. b. two. c. three or more.
17. Which age group does your mom belong to?
a. born before 1960. b. 1960-1964. c. 1965-1969. d. 1970-1974. e. 1975-1979. f. 1980-1985. g. born after 1985. h. I don’t know.
18. Is your mom a singleton?
a. Yes. b. No.
18-1. If No, how many sibling(s) does she have?
a. one. b. two. c. three or more.
19. Are you a singleton (being the only child of your parents)?
a. Yes. b. No.
19-1. If No, how many sibling(s) do you have?
a. one. b. two. c. three or more.
19-2. If No, are you and your sibling(s) biologically related? (i.e. having the same biological father/having the same biological mother/having the same biological father and mother)
a. Yes. b. No. c. one or more sibling(s) is, and the other(s) is not. d. prefer not to say.
19-3. If No, please indicate the age difference between you and your siblings. (If have more than one sibling, please select the largest age difference)
a. less than two years. b. 2 to 5 years. c. above 5 years but below 10 years. d. above 10 years.
19-4. If No, are you and your sibling(s) same-sex dyad or mixed-sex dyad?
a. same-sex. b. mixed-sex. c. I have both same-sex and different sex siblings.
19-5. If No, please indicate the birth order.
a. I’m the oldest child. b. I’m the second/middle child. c. I’m the youngest child. d. others (please be specific).